For most brides, a special part of the wedding process is when friends and family “shower you with love.” Traditionally, one or two showers were the norm, but lately it seems like three or four are the trend. Whether they’ve had one, two or three showers, brides before me have said each was a unique experience. So, with all of their advice in mind, it was interesting to go through the process myself.

I was fortunate to have two wonderful showers. One was a fun “Stock the Bar” couples shower that my friends hosted in their Chicago backyard one evening. White lights, cocktail tables and flower centerpieces were placed throughout the space to provide for an intimate setting. To go with the theme, Nick and I received a variety of bar items, glasses and everything that goes along with entertaining and drinking, of course. My friends had the shower catered with heavy hors d’oeuvres and delicious desserts. I hadn’t experienced many couples showers and it provided a fun atmosphere. It was also a great way for the guys to feel involved in the wedding festivities.

My second shower was a more traditional and formal, with my dearest friends and family at the Washington House Inn in Cedarburg, where I grew up. The theme of the shower was LOVE. My friends who hosted the shower bought lettered mugs from Anthropologie, each adorned with letter spelling out L-O-V-E. These were the centerpieces, filled with a combination of white and blue flowers to match my wedding décor of navy and ivory. Each place setting had a navy charger and each set of silverware was wrapped nicely with a letter, spelling out L-O-V-E, circling the table. It was a sit-down lunch with homemade chicken salad, fruit, pasta salad and mimosas. Red velvet L-O-V-E cupcakes served as the dessert. As favors, each guest could take a mug centerpiece. It was a beautiful shower and I will remember it always.

One thing I noticed at both showers was that we didn’t play any games. I actually liked that fact, as I am not a big game-player. I was also relieved on behalf of the guests who didn’t know many people—that can be so uncomfortable!

Whether a traditional or themed shower, enjoy the moment and have fun with those celebrating your future. Here are a few takeaways from my experiences:

• As the bride, you are the focus of attention. Some may like that and others may not, but it’s a fact you have to accept.
• Try and talk to everyone that is there supporting you and celebrating your future with you. Some may have traveled a long distance and others not, but make sure they all know you care that they are there. You don’t want to come off as an ungrateful bride-to-be, as many of your guests took time out of their day to celebrate with you and shower you with gifts.
• Ask your maid of honor or a bridesmaid to take notes on who gave what gifts so you can be specific in your thank-you notes.
• Showers are the perfect time to make the traditional rehearsal “flowers” for the bride and bridesmaids using paper plates and bows and ribbons from the gifts.
• Bring a gift of appreciation to the hosts of the shower. This will show them that you truly notice and appreciate all the hard work they put into the planning.
• Mail your thank-you notes as soon as you can post-shower. This is just proper etiquette.

I’ve heard about (and had) so many fun shower experiences. I’d love to know about yours!